It happens often. People speak different languages. I’m not talking about German, English or even French. In the English language, people communicate differently from the next person. Their speech patterns represent their lead communication method. You can hear it in their words. Often, clients say one thing, but you hear another. Discover how to make the client feel understood and understand your client.

1.    Take a deep breath. Before you talk to a client on the phone, in person or even through email, center yourself. Breathe deeply and relax any tension you might be feeling. Read a funny joke or a quote to help you release. Sure, it’s important to be alert, but when you have tension, you put more importance on yourself and not your client. When you talk to your client, focus on them. Do that by relaxing first.

2.    Listen to your client. Let your client talk. Ask questions if your client needs a warm-up to talk to you. Reporters warm sources up with “yes” and “no” questions to get them to open and build rapport. Once your client seems ready, you can begin asking open-ended questions.

Example of “yes” and “no” questions: Did you receive the email I sent you with the links? Did you get a chance to look over the mock webpage I sent you?

Example of open-ended questions: What is the weather like over there? What results do you want for this project? What are your main sources for traffic now?

After asking questions, listen to what your client has to say. It is a good idea to record the conversation and make notes. We remember only a small percentage of what we hear. Being able to play back the conversation gives clues and helps keep focus on what your client wants for the project.

3.    Realize their communication method. In Neuro-Linguistic Programming, listening for clues clients give help us see their main way of communicating. The four main types are image, hearing, touching and sensing. Image communication involves using words that represent pictures. Hearing communication represents words that communicate hearing or sounds. Touching language involves feeling and touch words. Sensing can include all the other communication methods and represents words that represent sense of learning and understanding.

Example of image: I think I see what you are saying.
Example of hearing: That rings a bell with me.
Example of touching: I grasp what you are saying.
Example of sensing: That makes sense.

4.    Repeat what they say. After a client tells you what they want, repeat it to them. This is the main way of making sure you are on the same page. By repeating what they said, you confirm that you understand what they want.

Think about it in terms of ordering meals through the McDonald’s drive-thru. Most of the time when they repeat the order back to you, they have it right. If they forget to repeat it to you, often you wind up missing an apple pie or French fry that you ordered originally. This is a big deal to you and your client too. They will get upset if you miss something they ordered.

Try repeating what they say in their method of communication. If they use hearing words, use those same words when repeating what they said back to them. Matching their speech or even email writing will help you communicate with them better and make them love you. All customers want to feel that you understand them. Do it through your communication with them.

Do you know what your main method of communication is? Listen to yourself and notice which method you use the most. Then listen to others. Write about your experience with others and clients in the comments section.

photo credit: River Beach