These Men Are Terrified That Their Laptop Use is Killing Their Sperm

Office deskSince time immemorial, males have sought to prove their virility by any means necessary — whether they’re horned rams butting heads during mating season, or a middle-aged man who buys a bright red sports car. Of course, there is a more direct way to measure a man’s virility — his sperm count.

Well, we’ve got some bad news for modern men and young professionals concerned about a low batting average. For many freelancers and independent contractors, their office is laptop. But human beings simply weren’t evolved to spend all day looking down at a tiny screen, and there’s a growing body of evidence that using your laptop all day can have a serious impact on your health. In some cases, your trusted laptop could even be lowering your sperm count.

Multiple studies have confirmed that the extensive use of a laptop can put your little guys in serious jeopardy. Too much information alert: the testicles dangle precariously outside the male body because of the way heat negatively effects sperm production.

And because many men keep their laptop right on top of — well, their lap — the heat from the computer can in turn raise the temperature of the scrotum, disrupting sperm production. In extreme cases, the heat from a laptop can reduce sperm count, cause low testosterone, and in extreme cases, contribute to male infertility.

While multiple studies have confirmed the effects of heat on sperm count, some men also believe that the wi-fi and low-frequency electromagnetic fields from their phones and laptops also damage their health. In one highly publicized 2012 study, researchers showed that the standard levels of wi-fi emitted by laptops could harm sperm mobility.

That’s why British inventor Joseph Perkins has invented “smart underwear,” special boxer shorts designed to block the dangers posed by radiation and heat. Sir Richard Branson was one of the first fans of the underwear; he even called them “underpants for superheroes.”

Perkins says his Wireless Armour underwear will block 99.9% of the EMF emitted by phones and laptops. He accomplished this feat by weaving silver mesh inside the boxers.

“Like so many people, my smartphone and laptop use has increased dramatically in recent years, which made me realize that I was exposing myself to large amounts of electromagnetic radiation, mostly centered on my groin,” he said.

Of course, you could always just put your laptop on a desk.

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